My friend Marie is a person who brightens the whole room when she enters.
She has a contagious smile and equally infectious laugh.
Marie is kind, caring, and beautiful.
Over the past few months, my friend Marie has been faced with one of
those life-altering things that no one ever wants to go through: divorce.
I don't care how you slice it, divorce is a difficult trial. Think
about it, how many times have you heard a story told, whether in real
life or in a book or movie, when the protagonist says something along
the lines of
...."I had just gone through a difficult divorce..."
Yet, you never hear anyone talk about their "easy divorce."
When you love a friend the way I do Marie, you want to be able to help to do something, anything...when
life gets tough. In many instances, helping a friend through a hard
time has come fairly easy for me, but with something as painful and
all-encompassing as divorce I've found myself faced with a different
kind of challenge. I have been very blessed in my life when it comes to
marriages making it through the rough and tumble of life's challenges.
My parents are celebrating their 45th anniversary (today actually-wtg
Mom & Dad-I love you both so much!) and my in-laws are in their
43rd year right now. These marriages have brought great comfort and
stability to my life--that's not to say nor imply that they've never
had problems--it's the fact that they do both have problems and trials
yet somehow continue to love and work on their marriages that brings
the stability, and I am grateful for that. Life's not always like that
though and once I knew Marie's divorce was inevitable, I really
struggled to know exactly how I could help...I knew I loved her and
wanted to be a supportive friend...but I also knew I had no experience
to offer.

A group of my close friends (the ones who introduced me to Marie) felt
largely the same way as I did. For the most part, none of us have much
experience with divorce but we do have a lot of experience with unconditional
love, compassion, and lending a listening ear. A collective desire to
rally around our friend and offer support (emotionally and
financially...uggghhhh divorce is expensive) somehow organically led to
the formation of TEAM MARIE!
We made shirts for the team and all showed up at GNO a few
months ago wearing our new team logo and then donned Marie with her own
shirt that proudly states "I AM MARIE!" Of all the things we wanted to
do, we wanted to remind Marie that she needs to remain proud of WHO she
is: a strong, loving, wonderful person who will survive this trial in
her life with loving friends surrounding her through the rough spots in
the journey. TEAM MARIE immediately started planning a rummage sale, a
bake sale...anything we could think of to raise money to help with the
additional expenses of divorce and life as a newly single mom.
We also
told Marie we'd be in our TEAM MARIE gear and ready to help pack boxes
once she found a new home. That's exactly what we did too...and it felt
so good. I saw the expressions on Marie's face when she'd stop to
glance at her friends all sporting black with bold white letters
screaming TEAM MARIE. Even though she was feeling vulnerable and weak
on the inside,
she knew she could keep going and be strong with the
reinforcements offered from loving support all around her. I'm not even
sure who's brain child TEAM MARIE was originally but I'm so proud that
we followed through, and even more proud that Marie is doing so well,
in spite of this trial she never thought she'd be going through.
If you have a friend going through divorce (or any difficult trial, for that matter) never underestimate how much your support can help them. And...if like Marie...you are going through a divorce right now...TEAM MARIE is here for you. Feel free to tell your friends they'd better make t-shirts that say TEAM YOUR NAME on them and help you make it through this nasty mess. On the other side of the tears and anguish of this trial sits the rest of your life, waiting for you to embrace it with a big Marie-like smile.
For my parents who have made it through an amazing 45 years together, thank you so much for teaching me how to be a friend to others, even when life takes the unexpected and sometimes ugly turns. You've both always been there for me and have shown me that you don't turn away when friends and family are in trouble. I love you for that. Happy Anniversary!

It may seem strange to post about divorce while also celebrating a milestone wedding anniversary like 45 years, but the truth is... my parents' marriage and their example of how to make it through tough times and how to be a friend is part of who I am...it's part of why I can and will be here for Marie while she battles this one out. Life is full or beautiful ironies I suppose...and this is just another example.
To Marie and my teammates..thanks for being
such good examples on how to be a real, bona fide, through and through
FRIEND!
I love you all very much~E

Ps. True story here: At the TEAM MARIE rummage sale (over Memorial Day weekend), we met a woman who was shopping for a high chair and a few other baby items. Our shirts got her asking questions, and so the story unfolded. Her response: "I want friend's like Marie's..." Giselle (the woman we met that day) now has her own TEAM MARIE shirt and has started joining in on the fun. Spreading true friendship is contagious so create a team near you :)